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Darkies Den

This is the den of darkie. Ironicly most of it is in english, on a swedish site.

Hopefully what I write will not make be of offence to anyone, or will make me have to feel regret.. god knows I have enough of that already.

Lost in my mind again,
The loneliest place on earth.
A place where only evil stays,
And all the light is lost.

Sometimes I feel jealousy,
and watch the happy people move around.
Sometimes I feel sorrow,
reminiscing about the past.
Sometimes I feel anger,
knowing that they waste it all.
Sometimes I feel fear,
Because there is no hope for me.
Sometimes.. There is just no light to show the way.
But the path remain, and all one can do is walk it -
Whereever it may go.

And think. Perhaps there is some meaning to it all.

And think. Perhaps one day all the shadows will be gone.

And think. Was it really so bad, after all?

Skrivet av Darkzealot, 2011-07-30

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Programkonstruktion: Laboration 10
2010-02-06 - Pontus Rodling, DVK1 och Pontus Forslid, DVK1

load "Int";
open TextIO;

Problem 1
TYPE: string -> int option
PRE: -
POST: strängen som har lästs in omgjord till en int option, annars NONE
SIDE-EFFECTS: s kommer att skrivas ut i terminalen och en eller flera rader kommer att läsas in från terminalen
fun readInt(s) =
val x = ref NONE
val a = ref ""
while !x = NONE andalso !a <> "\n" do ( (* Loopa medan !x inte är NONE och !a inte är en tom rad *)
if !a <> "" then print("Felaktigt tal!\n") else (); (* Vi kunde inte konvertera strängen till en int *)
print(s ^ " "); (* Skriv ut prompten *)
a := inputLine(stdIn); (*...

Skrivet av Darkzealot, 2010-02-07

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I fall. Darkness envelops my sight yet fires burn all around. I see nothing but the flames and myself in this perpetual darkness. I feel a sting.. something penetrates my side. Something material. The flesh moves aside to let the object push itself further. It pulls me in. A taste of blood touches my lips. My eyes burn with sleeplessness. I see my hands incinerate. Everything becomes freezing. I feel a shiver in my burning flesh. I can't breathe. I feel a tight grip around my throat. My heart beats with such hurry. It stops itself. Only to start again, slow. Every beating sends agony through my entire body. Between each beating I feel relief. Then anew. Something corrodes through my leg. The object pierces through me. I hang in the darkness on an invisible spike. My flayed skin peels away. I hear my thoughts in my head. My eyes produce no tears, they are too dried. I feel strain in every limb. I can not relax. Something tugs at my spine. It does not end. My burned flesh is as if coated in salt. I try to...

Skrivet av Darkzealot, 2009-12-04

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Something glistening catches my eye. A vortex of silver and obsidian. Something liquid. A strange glow of such strength I have never known, yet it does not blind me. It envelops everything in shimmer, growing stronger. I reach down and try to grasp it, and it pulls me in. Everything around me shimmering with dark and silver, and I feel completely at ease.

I see her smile in the glow about me. I feel her very being, her grace, her beauty. So much energy I can feel how universes would be reduced to nothing in comparison. I feel happiness.. a strange relief, that everything will come to be as it will. And that nothing can go wrong. All my premonitions of horror fade as it washes over me.

I wake in a blur, the sparkling snow tinder under the moonlight. With that, I stand, a smile crossing my lips.

Skrivet av Darkzealot, 2009-03-12

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I see it. It shines. It glows. It smiles at me. I feel its touch. Deliriously I linger in it's presence.

I take a wrong step. Something strikes at it. I feel the gust. Fires burn. The glow grins. The air is robbed from me. I gasp.

It fades. Something is wrong. It wavers. It shrinks in the distance. I feel my fingertips numbering. I cry out to the shadows. The shadows circles me, spins, in silence. I sstrike at them.. curse them. I question the time.

I break It. It cries. I am Blind. The friend slaps me. The haze subsides. The aftermath is


I can not see. The sight is wrong. Unknown strikes

Skrivet av Darkzealot, 2008-06-10

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I suppose it doesn't really surprise me the slightest.. why would anything ever be as simple as it could be?

The way I step into the mists, the way they conceal me and fill the void around me.. could I be missing something? I can't see the ground I walk on, and I can't steer clear of any obstacle in my way.. and everything is gray in my eyes.

The urge is back.. to draw blood.. any blood. I was so close to slam a rock into a little kids face I dazed myself for minutes.. I just stood there.. watching my hands. And my head is not letting me find any rest.
My dreams once again fill me with images of fire and blood, and the constant falling and surrounding darkness and shadows.. the stuff of emoness.

If I fall, will the talons of my demons catch me, or will the angel scoop me up?.. or will I just keep falling like before?

Skrivet av Darkzealot, 2008-06-10

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Another pointless text about feelings, I advice skipping

The image that now comes to mind whenever I close my eyes is an image of me.. I look disturbed.. and the image is torn, cracked.. and blurry, like held behind a lit candle. Is this the image I have of myself?

Last night I dreamed again, in my old fashion. I was standing, in darkness, surrounded by various uneven terrain of fire.. but the light the fire brought didn't light anything up.. it was just darkness, and the fire had no source. I stood there, looking about.. that unfamiliar calm on my features that so often adorn my face in my nightmares. I looked straight ahead, out into the darkness, not moving a muscle, my arms limp at my sides. My face was illuminated slightly by the fires, and I looked tired, and my eyes distant. After an eternity of nothingness.. my blank calm expression tormenting me with it's emotionless guise I saw how I started to crack, at first only slightly, then it slowly spread, and I didn't move.. then.. I...

Skrivet av Darkzealot, 2008-04-18

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Y'know, whenever I think of her, or her smile, or her glistening eyes I can't help but to shine. It even shows for those around me, they ask if I am happy.. and.. in truth I am, I really really am happy -when I am thinking of her, or when I have been thinking of her.

There are however times when my normal habits kick in and I feel how.. my entire view on life starts to grow gloomy and dark, when no matter what I do I'd want nothing more than to just fade away, or to draw blood.

I see her in my sleep, her smile, her grace, in every sleeping moment she haunts my dreams. And I do not ever want to wake, for no dream is as sweet as the one where she is with me. Though the morning or coming of the sun spoils it. It makes me think: If it is what happens in the dream, that we are pulled apart, repelled by some divine light, perhaps it is our destiny to not work out? It saddens me, but in the same while I also recognize that it is only a dream, and all slumbers are followed by waking.

I wonder also if she...

Skrivet av Darkzealot, 2008-04-03

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