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FadingObsession

cicatrix manet - The scar remains

"Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own"
Carol Burnett

"Nothing is as common-place as the wish to be remarkable"
William Shakespeare

Nick Cave & The bad seeds
Far from me

For you dear, I was born
For you I was raised up
For you I've lived and for you I will die
For you I am dying now
You were my mad little lover
In a world where everybody fucks everybody else over
You who are so far from me
Far from me
So far from me
Way across some cold neurotic sea
Far from me

I would talk to you of all matter of things
With a smile you would reply
Then the sun would leave your pretty face
And you'd retreat from the front of your eyes
I keep hearing that you're doing best
I hope your heart beats happy in your infant breast
You are so far from me
Far from me
Far from me

There is no knowledge but i know it

There's nothing to learn from that vacant voice
That sails to me across the line
From the ridiculous to the sublime
It's good to hear you're doing so well
But really can't you find somebody else that you can ring and tell
Did you ever
Care for me?
Were you ever
There for me?
So far from me

You told me you'd...

Skrivet av FadingObsession, 2007-09-30

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A lot can happen...in a blink of an eye

In a blink of an eye you can loose your perspective
In a blink of an eye you can gain a new

In a blink of an eye you can loose a lover
In a blink of an eye you can gain a friend

In a blink of an eye you can be on the top of the world
In a blink of an eye you’re on the bottom of the well

In a blink of an eye serenity appears
In a blink of an eye a storm is brewing

In a blink of an eye you can loose yourself
In a blink of an eye you’re suddenly someone you just don’t know

Regardless of persisting repetitions no new perspectives appears, no friends are gained, you are no where near the top of the world.
The perspectives you once new so well are long gone, lovers lost.
The storm is brewing in the bottom of your well.

//J

Skrivet av FadingObsession, 2007-09-30

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I cleaned the apartment today...it now looks shiny and new.
Wish I could clean you right out of my heart, but there is no cleaner in the world that can get rid of the stain that is YOU.
The harder I polish the harder you seem to stick. The more I sweep the more determent you seem to be to stay.
You are like nuclear waste, even if you’re buried your mortal effect remains. Not even starting to fade, for years.
The bomb defused a long time ago, but the splinters have left a mendless wound.

//J

Skrivet av FadingObsession, 2007-09-30

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What an intimidating concept, yet the current concept of my life!
To want something so bad that it devours you, to need something so bad that everything else seems trivial.
The devouring of obsession is gradual, piece by piece it consumes you, until there is simply nothing left. Nothing that even remotely resembles the person you once was.
Obsession is a disease that not only possesses you but alters your DNA until you’re unrecognizable. You are now a mutant, not included by the laws of physics.
What to do then about this incurable disease, perhaps as with every other handicap try to figure out a way to cope. Healing is not an alterative, only at the most rehabilitation.
What to then when you find that your world is not handicap adaptable? There are no ramps from witch you can travel from A to B. There are no special tools to help you manage the day.
The world is not prepared for this kind handicapping condition, there are no rehabilitation, no recovery, no greener grass at the other side of the...

Skrivet av FadingObsession, 2007-09-30

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What would a rat be without the elephant’s existence?
What would happiness be without misery?
What would a mountain be without a valley?
Perspective is the frame we use as a measuring tape of our existence. Without perspectives would creeks never heap into rivers, 2 times 2 would never add up to 4.

It is hard thou sometimes to recall these frames when misery strikes. Every creek is the largest, incomparable to the grandest river.
In the absence of perspectives every creek is a deluge.

Without our perspectives we would loose the capacity to estimate extent. Happiness would be mediocre since its opposite never existed. The rat would be consistent since its neither larger nor smaller opposite ever crossed our field of vision.

Without misery we would never experience true happiness, without the elephant we would never consider the rat small and without the valleys the mountains would never be overwhelming.
If life only contained prosperities it would loose its appeal.
If life was consistent...

Skrivet av FadingObsession, 2007-09-30

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Affirmation…confirmation….realization...
Experience...disappointment...rehabilitation...
Repetition...full circle.

How can we learn if we won’t try and how can we try if we won’t learn. Without realization we are domed to repetition, but aren’t repetition the pattern of with we are unique? My pattern either prosperous or destructive is the summation of my experiences. If we then find our pattern less then prosperous is that an indication that we have yet more to learn or are our pattern a generically lot, drawn from the universal lottery from witch we all origin? When is it time for realization and when should acceptance take charge? If life is a springboard, witch gradually evolves...shouldn’t we in due time is bound to make prosperous decisions?
But what if the prosperous decisions aren’t to be realized, but in fact in constant orbit around us. What if we aren’t supposed to learn which decisions to make, but in fact learn to listen to the answers we all ready possess?

It’s my belief...

Skrivet av FadingObsession, 2007-09-30

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"Nothing is as common as the wish to be remarkable"

So why bother, right?
Satisfaction will never come, a lot will never be enough. Still I get up everyday, take each breath after the other hoping that a small amount of satisfaction will appear the next time I draw breath into my lungs.
It never does!
No matter how hard I try, I will never be good enough, beautiful enough, intelligent…enough...never enough. Not that I live under the pretences that anyone or anything EVER is, but I do believe momentarily satisfaction can occur. What I don’t believe is that I can attain it.
WHY? Well I do now the answer to that question, simply because the best will never be good enough...for me.
Among a thousand great achievements I have the unique gift of focusing on the one thing among these that was the least flattering. Nagging them back and forward in my head, achieving perfection in a world I most certainly know is the least thing from perfect.
What am I trying to achieve, really...Trying to be perfect in an...

Skrivet av FadingObsession, 2007-09-30

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