Paulas blogg
Future, Choises and Confu sion
There are many times in a humans life when you have to decide what to do next. We all make small choises like this everyday. We choose to do things, or choose to leave them undone. But sometimes these choises are bigger. Some choises affect our life for many years forward. With this I mean choises regarding our future, like where to live, what kind of people to spend our life with, what to study and what proffession(s) to pursue.
As we are young most things are chosen for us, but as we get older and become "grown-ups" we are often left alone with the major choises in our life that will affect how it all turns out. I think this is mostly a good thing, because everybody should have the right to choose what to do with their own life. But what if you're not sure what you wanna do or afraid to take the steps to get to where you want?
I'm at a crossroad myself at the moment. I'm going to graduate from vocational school as a textile artisan this spring and I'll soon have to choose what to do next. At first, I had no clue whatsoever. I was confused and even scared and I didn't sleep much because of all the wondering and thinking about future possibilities and things that could go wrong.
I've been writing about this a lot in my personal diary. Thinking of different things that I'm interrested in and could se myself working with. I came up with professions like dressmaker, costumemaker(for teather and movies), fashiondesigner, artist(painter, photographer), writer(columns and stuff for magazines), author(novellist), teacher(art, handcraft, English) and so on.
The truth is, I still don't really know what I'll actually choose as my future career. I'll probably do many different things, as I need variation. But what I have decided is what to do with my near future. As my boyfriend lives in Imatra and still has school left over there, I'll move over to stay with him. I will also apply for the local art collage to see if they think I have it in me. If I don't get in, I'll search for a job until I find one, work for a few years and then when my love graduates, we move away somewhere, and at some point I'll study more, maybe to become a teacher or maybe something else.
And what about the fears I had of things that could go wrong? My mun helped me with those. She remined me that there's no point in walking around scared of tripping, cuz that just makes it more likely you'll actually trip and you'll probably also forget to have fun while you keep worrying so much. So, I decided to live and enjoy my life, take things as they come, deal with obstacles when they present themselves, but not worry about things in advance. I'm glad she reminded me about that.
After many days, nights and weeks of confusion and trying to arrange my thoughts, I've finally found some solid ground. For now at least. Until the next big changes occur, and the order in my head is once again shifted to chaos. But I've noticed, that somehow, the calm always returns, no matter how legthy the confusion.
I wish the best of luck and lots of courage to everyone in midst of big choises, changes and confusion about their future. Take one step at a time, keep your gaze on your dreams and work hard to get what you want!
Good luck eveyone!
Skrivet av Paula, 2009-01-29 17:41
Kommentera: