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moments to share, moments to care

hello there.

so in order to stop imagining people the way i want to and seeing them for who they are, a new circle begins.

oh God, i have been so wrong my head is hurting.

and does, like, everyone sees this??

Skrivet av arlona, 2018-10-05

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if the person who you care about chooses anyone else but you to go to when shit hits the fan, there is a good chance they were really fed up with your life lessons a long time ago.

Skrivet av arlona, 2018-09-26

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turns out i am simply allergic to all dairy (lactose, whey, yogurt, cream, kefir), eggs and bananas (??).

Skrivet av arlona, 2018-09-26

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i am stronger than i thought.
thus, no need to prove i'm strong. no need to compete. no need pretending i'm weak.

be gentler, compassionate of those around me.
be strong and let others grow stronger as well.

Skrivet av arlona, 2018-09-23

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i'm devastated.
i'm truly devastated.

surprisingly, i'm still sober.

Skrivet av arlona, 2018-09-23

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on Sunday God blessed me with 2 sisters who can help me with ED.
and it seems God has also blessed me with a brother who can help me with my writing skills.

i cannot believe it yet.
can this be true?

Skrivet av arlona, 2018-09-18

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from daily thoughts:
"what is healthy giving? there is a fine-lined behavior each of us must seek to understand for ourselves. it is that kind of giving that feels good and does not leave us feeling victimized. it is that kind of giving that holds the giver and the receiver in high esteem. it is giving based on a desire to do it rather than from a sense of guilt, pity, shame, or obligation. it is giving with no strings attached. whether it is giving of our time, efforts, energy, comfort, nurturing, money, or ourselves, it is giving that we can afford. giving is part of the chain of giving and receiving. we can learn to give in healthy ways; we can learn to give in love.
and we need to keep an eye that the motivation of our giving is healthy.

today, God, guide me in my giving. help me give to others in healthy ways. help me give what feels right, what feels good, what feels clean, and what i can afford."

Skrivet av arlona, 2018-09-16

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i've always been proud of my honesty, but further exploration has brought me to the knees even in this aspect.

further on quotes from Bill V.

"honesty can be used as a tool of horrific self delusion. for example, the type of honesty that is not rooted in consideration or love. [..] i was so proud of my honesty and fairness that i started feeling more disgust towards people who were ever lying or cheating. my honesty eventually became a cape under which i started to hide many, serious shortcomings that were crippling other spheres of life. convinced that since my honesty is good, all my other traits were equally good. this thought prevented me from taking a good look in the mirror for many years. this example of self delusion is very common, and each of us can often fall into it.
what matters is the motivation of honesty. are we really speaking the truth out of consideration and kindness? or are we throwing facts into the other person's face wanting to be superior? have we tried to hurt someone with...

Skrivet av arlona, 2018-09-16

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