moments to share, moments to care
the amazing thing
so the past days have been different. really amazing, full of surprises and unexpected events. i have been enjoying.
we went to pick up a lot of things in the neighborhood and went to my grandma's grave which was very nice. i miss her and my other grandma. feels like the time has been stolen from me and visiting them there is the only way of me showing the appreciation.
then again. new year's eve turned out a little wilder than expected. some people showed up unexpected, starting with the guy who is hopelessly in love with me and ending with my dad. i still don't know which one gave me more headache. or was it that unfortunately both previous persons interacted with each other WHICH was an event i never even had in my worst nightmares. damn. well. i guess no harm done in the end. just that the latter thinks that the former is a kind guy with absolutely no self respect what so ever and that i am simply too much fire for him (sweet said, btw).
i went to church after the magical 00.00. it was magical as well. touched me deep inside. made me feel that despite my "scientific" beliefs i obviously do believe in God. or at least it is this magical ritual that hypnotizes me with its beauty. or it keeps the naive part of my personality alive. good for me in any case.
and of course, feels weird writing the last part knowing it will be read afterward, but i gotta stick with how i really feel and think.
first of all, i don't think. i'm just giving myself into something unknown and following a inner guide to a place that i should be having second thoughts about. i know that the road i'm following might be short and end very soon. i know that even if it feels like a level road now, it might lead to a gorge. it might lead up and down, it might lead nowhere. but at the moment the scenery is way too beautiful to ignore it.
so i'll keep walking and enjoying it, take deep breaths, living with 110%, and think about the consequences later.
Skrivet av arlona, 2009-01-01 20:38
Kommentera: