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moments to share, moments to care

how can you love someone else, when you have hated yourself for so long?

Skrivet av arlona, 2017-04-02

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so this is fun. something clicks in your brain and your life suddenly works (it might be due to od-ing drugs meant for schizos and living a very, very interesting life for three days and seeing yourself in a new light, pm me for details ;) ).

so what's new?

i'm obsessed with anna kendrick. she possesses this awesome light, humoristic, slightly self-ironic attitude towards herself and life. love it. have binged on her twitter account as the celebrity stalker that i am, watched 4 of her movies by far and counting.

music. well that's pretty tied with miss kendrick. pitch perfect and pitch perfect 2 (no judgment!!) had some bad-ass songs. also, made me pick up my viola again. the only reason the speakers are not on max volume is due to the fact i'm such a humanitarian and don't want my neighbors to kill me (when i die, in your speeches please pretend i was a better person than i am).

i translated. signed another contract for another super confidential best-selling book about an introvert weirdo,...

Skrivet av arlona, 2017-04-01

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so while i'm still at my conscience, laughed at, yelled, at, ridiculed and humiliated, this is the time when authors get there best ideas, right?

i've had an on/off relationship with a man who was married as i started dating him. i was basically asking for the shit to happen to me. in my life i cheated, lied, manipulated, and life takes its toll (hopefully that means that trump and lembergs will have their share to pay), so this is me paying for everything i did wrong.

i am a shit person. useless to the world. deeply depressed. waking up just hoping for the day to be over again. i have been in this state since the day i found out my fiancee was cheating on my on a thursday, a few days after we had gotten back from a skiing trip to georgia.

dont blame him, it is my life and my choice. i was a shit person to him, i was mean, rude, sarcastic, ironic, revengeful, once i even stalked him and hit him in the face, that's how much the cheating hurt and that's how long i couldn't get over him.

my...

Skrivet av arlona, 2017-03-28

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i was a shit person anyway.

Skrivet av arlona, 2017-03-28

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1 proposal (a joke, of course)
2 break ups.
within a month.

and he wonders why i feel like a useless garbage tossed around.

Skrivet av arlona, 2017-03-28

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i'm too old to be irresponsible.

with words. with actions. with anything.

Skrivet av arlona, 2017-03-22

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oh why can't you be
happy with me?

Skrivet av arlona, 2017-03-15

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there is love that is the "hard love" - it teaches us lessons about who we are and how we need or want to be loved.

i had that an i've learned more about myself in the past years than i have in what seems a lifetime. there are many lessons i will take on in the future and many things to change about myself in the time to come.

1) cut the male friends. i grew up as a tomboy, the lack of boobs and girlfriends made me the perfect football partner in the yard until the age of 14. i've always felt comfortable around boys, but i never noticed hot hurtful it can be to my partner. i still want to have intelligent and fun conversations, without the charmed smiles, flirty remarks and being inappropriately close. that's just immature. i will never hurt my significant other with this.

2) building confidence. i've been relying on other people's opinion of who i am and spending way too little time on my own with my own interests and hobbies. sometimes it seems i've done things only to impress others and keep...

Skrivet av arlona, 2017-02-24

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