moments to share, moments to care
so this is fun. something clicks in your brain and your life suddenly works (it might be due to od-ing drugs meant for schizos and living a very, very interesting life for three days and seeing yourself in a new light, pm me for details ;) ).
so what's new?
i'm obsessed with anna kendrick. she possesses this awesome light, humoristic, slightly self-ironic attitude towards herself and life. love it. have binged on her twitter account as the celebrity stalker that i am, watched 4 of her movies by far and counting.
music. well that's pretty tied with miss kendrick. pitch perfect and pitch perfect 2 (no judgment!!) had some bad-ass songs. also, made me pick up my viola again. the only reason the speakers are not on max volume is due to the fact i'm such a humanitarian and don't want my neighbors to kill me (when i die, in your speeches please pretend i was a better person than i am).
i translated. signed another contract for another super confidential best-selling book about an introvert weirdo,...
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so while i'm still at my conscience, laughed at, yelled, at, ridiculed and humiliated, this is the time when authors get there best ideas, right?
i've had an on/off relationship with a man who was married as i started dating him. i was basically asking for the shit to happen to me. in my life i cheated, lied, manipulated, and life takes its toll (hopefully that means that trump and lembergs will have their share to pay), so this is me paying for everything i did wrong.
i am a shit person. useless to the world. deeply depressed. waking up just hoping for the day to be over again. i have been in this state since the day i found out my fiancee was cheating on my on a thursday, a few days after we had gotten back from a skiing trip to georgia.
dont blame him, it is my life and my choice. i was a shit person to him, i was mean, rude, sarcastic, ironic, revengeful, once i even stalked him and hit him in the face, that's how much the cheating hurt and that's how long i couldn't get over him.
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there is love that is the "hard love" - it teaches us lessons about who we are and how we need or want to be loved.
i had that an i've learned more about myself in the past years than i have in what seems a lifetime. there are many lessons i will take on in the future and many things to change about myself in the time to come.
1) cut the male friends. i grew up as a tomboy, the lack of boobs and girlfriends made me the perfect football partner in the yard until the age of 14. i've always felt comfortable around boys, but i never noticed hot hurtful it can be to my partner. i still want to have intelligent and fun conversations, without the charmed smiles, flirty remarks and being inappropriately close. that's just immature. i will never hurt my significant other with this.
2) building confidence. i've been relying on other people's opinion of who i am and spending way too little time on my own with my own interests and hobbies. sometimes it seems i've done things only to impress others and keep...
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