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moments to share, moments to care

despite the fact that my personality over the past years has become a lot milder, sensitive, and tolerant, unfortunately my sense of humor has remained sarcastic and cynic, unintentionally causing misunderstandings and hurting the people close to my heart.

with jealousy i sometimes listen to amazing friendly jokes, which i can appreciate but never come up with myself.

can anything be done about this to lessen the harm?

Skrivet av arlona, 2012-05-31

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unfortunately i come to find that someones happiness is still a burden, bad news, and annoyance to others. too bad those others might classify as friends. well well.. i guess i'm too used to my actual friends being really happy for me (:

Skrivet av arlona, 2012-05-25

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i never thought that i will work so hard and suppress all my female manipulative instincts, my egoistic urges, and the taste of power, just to make it work in a very long long run. and surprisingly enough, it is easier than i thought.

i guess that's what you do when you really love someone.

Skrivet av arlona, 2012-05-23

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my friends who have known me for a long time, also know this very pathetic thing about me: i used to want to be a victim. not only did i complain about the present things, blaming them on the past experiences, using past as a constant excuse, but also i tried to put myself into various, even dangerous situations, where instinctively i knew the result would be me getting hurt, just so i could complain about it later.

that part is thankfully over.

at the moment, when i am so deep into my own personal problems, i don't feel any urge to tell anyone about it.
everything will pass eventually. no need to exaggerate things by talking about them.

but a drink would be nice.

so good to be different.

Skrivet av arlona, 2012-05-11

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don't call your kids every day

Skrivet av arlona, 2012-05-11

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why is this process always so complicated, so torturous, filled with the unknown, with anxiety of stability, with disbelief of ones will power, of possibilities, luck, effort, results.

i cannot wait for the day ahead of me, when all of this will be behind me.

Skrivet av arlona, 2012-04-23

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sometimes it feels like i'm living five different lives, and forgeting the four other as soon as i'm living one of them.

one of those lives is me being a stressed and burned out workaholic. and that's one that i don't want to be living in.

how do i step out of the circle? how do i live only the live that i really want to without getting carried away with the others? that one makes me really free in my mind and truly happy. that's one i want to stick with.

Skrivet av arlona, 2012-04-15

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currently, funny thing, but good emotions should be published, however ridiculous the source might sound: i love my body. it's so responsive and good to me, me and it are getting along very nicely lately.

also, my mindset is amazing at the moment. not a worry in the world.

things are just happening.

Skrivet av arlona, 2012-04-11

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