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moments to share, moments to care

that face holds no horror for me now,
it's in my soul the true distortion lies.

Skrivet av arlona, 2016-12-11

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sometimes life is like the game snakes and rattles. you think you are so close to the goal, but suddenly you land on a snake and fall down to square one again.

aside from that, i am like a very bad car passenger - i constantly interrupt the driver, criticizing his ways and demanding the wheel, even though his way may be different and better.

i wish i could just buckle up and enjoy the ride.
the driver knows what he's doing. it's the passenger who needs to let go.

Skrivet av arlona, 2016-11-24

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ever since i realized i am not needed anymore, i felt completely worthless. it seemed, just because i am not needed, i had no more value, a piece of trash that can be tossed out, since there was no use to it anymore.

it make me understand, how i genuinely need to feel needed. in a way it is ironic, since for the past 1,5 years i have been one of the neediest people that i know, being happy for the small instances of my life when anyone else expressed any need or appreciation for my presence.

change is not easy, but maybe realization that i am not needed anymore doesn't mean i'm worthless. no more.

maybe nobody needs anyone and the old expression is completely wrong.

Skrivet av arlona, 2016-10-27

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you don't cause pain, and you don't feel pain - that's an illusion.
you don't cause pain, but you feel pain - that's being ghandi.
you cause pain, but you don't feel pain - that's being a sociopath.

you cause pain and you feel pain - that's war. or life.

Skrivet av arlona, 2016-10-02

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fun thing, if you google "how to bottle up your emotions", only results you get is how to unbottle them.
what a waste. of bottles.

this world has enough of feelings already.

Skrivet av arlona, 2016-10-01

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seems like i've lost all of them.

i'm so lost. one more week, and then i'll have time to ponder about it and start from a scratch.

Skrivet av arlona, 2016-09-21

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somewhere along the way I lost gratefulness for all the amazing things in my life.

I think it has somthing to do with someone overtalking me to get used to comfort.

I don't want comfort. life is amazing as it is.

Skrivet av arlona, 2016-09-16

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i need to learn to keep more things to myself.
as well as not to give in to momentary emotions. impatience brings out the worst in me.

therefore the traits i want to obtain are patience, composure and moderation.

Skrivet av arlona, 2016-09-11

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