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moments to share, moments to care

i felt like falling out of the bed between 7am-8am

Skrivet av arlona, 2009-07-18

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and sleepy. partying way too much.

Skrivet av arlona, 2009-06-29

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i wish it was.

lack of deadline?

Skrivet av arlona, 2009-06-11

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works fine for me

Skrivet av arlona, 2009-06-07

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i had a dream tonight. or a nightmare. a few of them actually. saw things that i had forgotten or that i never think about.

but here it was: i saw 2 people - me and another person. and i saw a dog, who apparently belonged to us. and i saw a car crushing the dog. i saw the dog on the sidewalk. he was still alive, but obviously his spine was broken, or what do i know from the pet anatomy. in any case, he was bleeding from his spine. and breathing. the other person in my dream went up to the dog, sat down and tried caressing, hence enlightening the pain. the dog was yelping by every touch because logically they were causing incredible amount of pain. i sat down the person and the dog. i was watching the dog and the person crying.

the dog was dieing.

i knew that i was supposed to kill it at that moment. to stop the suffering.

fuck. the dream felt so real.

could i kill him? and if, how could i? should i break the spine by digging in my heel into the leftovers of its spine? should i take a hammer...

Skrivet av arlona, 2009-04-26

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i don't learn from my mistakes.

Skrivet av arlona, 2009-04-20

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a lot of things have changed in my life. and so have i. and it's a good change. the best thing is that i actually learn from my mistakes. i remember writing about how i let one specific person affect my life way too much than it was healthy. and now i feel the situation repeating itself again, except for me actually being on top of things and not letting pointless things affect me. thumbs up.

more and more i realize that it is hard to find the people that share your values. which is important. values are what we base our lives upon. i think i am smart enough to play my cards right and get along very good with people that i feel disgust or disrespect for, but that seems like a very hypocritical thing to do, which is just not the way i like to do it. so here is the question: am i supposed to try getting along nice with everyone, for the sake of everyone, even if it includes pretending? let's say: i am trying to avoid this person, because i don't like pretending. and to be honest: if we turn the situation...

Skrivet av arlona, 2009-03-25

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previously i already said that living is what you take from life. you will die!!! very soon! definitely sooner than you think!
and the reason why i am saying this, is because with pride i can admit that obviously i am doing everything to put these words into action. planning trips and actions in sooner and not that soon future and all of it seems like it is filling up my life to the top. that's all i want to do - live it completely. if God blesses me to live until 80, i don't care if i'm an old lady sitting in her wheelchair and petting her cat. at least i will have some damn good memories from when my legs were functioning and my body was full of strength.

there is nothing but your life.
do you really want to spend it by pc? pile of papers? and die as if you never lived?

Skrivet av arlona, 2009-03-15

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