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moments to share, moments to care

lately i've been thinking of the reasons why older men pick younger women (and vice versa).

with that i don't mean the cliche middle age crisis - a man wants a new trophy, doesn't want to mature and picks an equal, wants to avoid building a family and settling down, etc., etc.

i mean men, who are mature, who for one or another reason have chosen their path, and have found someone pure, unscarred, teachable, trusting, perfect. someone who also wants to follow this new path of maturity.

i've seen this in action with several men i know - at some point they have made a deccision to change their life radically, while their significant other has grown trired of life, cynical of surroundings, uneager to make an effort for a change, lost belief in change or hasn't experienced anything that would trigger such spark.

it makes sense that these people find their separate ways.

let's say the relationship then has a crisis. if a man finds a younger woman, who is still full of joy and happiness, who hasn't...

Skrivet av arlona, 2016-07-05

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love makes us blind.
so does resentment.
so does anger.
so does desperation.
so does fear.

pick you card.
and buckle up (or is is - steal the last glimpse of reality), it's gonna be a bumpy ride regardless.

Skrivet av arlona, 2016-06-28

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its been almost a month since my last entry. have had 3 beers since then. might have overreacted about the issue, but since my body (and wallet) are thankful for this, might as well continue staying away from it.

Skrivet av arlona, 2016-06-13

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i have a drinking problem.

i don't recognize myself anymore.

Skrivet av arlona, 2016-05-17

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the most loyal followers of these lines might have noticed that to a certain extent a personality struggle has been intertwining throughout the years. always something to improve, always something to change.
looking back it seems that sometimes this battle has been slightly chaotic with a low ratio of efficiency. it has lacked structure and guidance, and that might be one of the explanation why some of the things have been re-learned repeatedly (or never really acquired at all).

despite the positive aspects, there is one huge flaw always following like a shadow: usually showing it's ugly face in the brightest moments, spoiling them mercilessly, and this trait is immaturity.

so there it is - a personal declaration of war on immaturity.
here are the few steps i have set to win the war:
1. don't be a bully - verbal, social or physical - cut the inappropriate comments and hiding behind the argument of being "honest" (this reminds me, i should take my own advice sometimes)
2. avoid gossip, rumors, and...

Skrivet av arlona, 2016-05-05

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sometimes i surprise myself.
another goal achieved.

Skrivet av arlona, 2016-04-19

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funny how sometimes we forget how well we can make ourselves feel.

Skrivet av arlona, 2016-03-23

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ha, yes, another one of those.

2 months after returning, i realized there is one part of the trip that i am missing so badly, i feel a physical ache, an urge in my chest. luckily, this urge can be fulfilled anyplace and almost any time.

i miss time to think.

time back home runs way too fast, from the moment when i get up til the moment i lay down my head, there is information all around me. radio, tv, data at work, emails, emails, emails, bills, grocery list, to-do list, phone calls, tvseries and even when there finally is time for thinking (evening, holidays), distractions get the best of me.

i miss thinking. sitting down in a bus, plane, station, and just thinking. putting things in the right boxes. lately i've been depriving myself of this joy and it seems like it has to be brought back.

reinvention? i guess not really. more adapting to the new period that has started. the new goals, the new lifestyle, another part which i'm welcoming with open arms. it feels great, it does indeed.

Skrivet av arlona, 2016-03-19

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