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moments to share, moments to care

quite a long time has passed so i can finally write down the objective conclusions of a shitty experience.

i was spending a lot of time pitying myself for my childhood traumas, now i take a step back and see how much pain and suffering is there in people all around me. finally, instead of focusing on my own bruises, i can actually be a better friend and focus on listening more than talking.

i was living in a fantasy world. not regarding my values, those ones have only strengthened, but my expectations of relationship. i was expecting a story, a fairy tale, a miracle. and resented everything that wasn't as "perfect" as my imaginary world. including myself. now i can see that relationships just like friendships are based on respect, common interests and sense of humor, not mutual games, manipulation, tricks and treats.

and yes, the values. more than ever i am sure that my moral compass works just fine. it is worth to be a genuinely good person. there are plenty of us out there (i'm saying, hoping to...

Skrivet av arlona, 2015-08-15

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what if you stop being cynical and ironic and suddenly are perceived as boring instead?

Skrivet av arlona, 2015-08-11

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and just like that. i got my spark back.

Skrivet av arlona, 2015-07-08

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some painful memories are useful to ponder about.

they remind you of who you are and who you want to be.

Skrivet av arlona, 2015-05-19

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with years and events the illusion of what a family is, dissolves into nothingness.

at last, another mystery is solved, and another family member is off the wishlist.

at least i know who my people are.

Skrivet av arlona, 2015-05-19

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after a few depressing months, i am finally back on track. funny, how things suddenly fall in right places, opening a new passage for a getaway.
finally. i have quit my job, leased my place, covered all fiscal responsibilities, and now looking forward some time for myself.

those who know me might have noticed a tendency where i always have to take upon more than i can do. somewhat of a victim vs hero syndrome. always working at several jobs, studying, fixing apartment, and just being completely worn out. i am done with that. despite the fact that leaving my super safe and well paid job in accounting seems a suicidal move, actually it is not.

i might not make as much money with translating, and i might turn out to be a shitty writer, but i will jump for this chance and try something i like, something that has added value and something that makes me feel like my life has somewhat of a value. i will give this a shot before someone tells me i have 6 months left to live.

i will jump into the unknown and...

Skrivet av arlona, 2015-05-02

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i was sloppy with my last year's resolution, but not this year.

this year i have a plan.

1. quit my job.
this will take 2 more months, so i can have the three beautiful summer months free, just books, viola, beaches and free time and will be done with my fiscal responsibilities by then.

2. enjoy the summer.

3. go see the world.
i wanted to work for a cruise line last september, but due to some emotional roller coaster i decided to postpone it. now the time has come when i can make a fine blend of business and pleasure - rent out my apartment thus having no costs and get paid to see the world.

this is gonna be an epic year.

Skrivet av arlona, 2015-02-19

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and break into milion pieces.

Skrivet av arlona, 2015-02-15

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