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moments to share, moments to care

i thought i was looking for a good guy.

i was wrong.
i was looking for a good man.

Skrivet av arlona, 2014-10-28

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wanting something doesn't give you the right to have it.
/ezio auditore, assassin's creed II

Skrivet av arlona, 2014-10-02

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watch it again

Skrivet av arlona, 2014-09-24

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slowly but surely i've started my soulsearching and putting my life together. this time of singleness will probably be one of the most valuable and fruitful times for me as a personality, mutually beneficial for everyone getting involved in my social circle.

first off - boundaries. have been really loose with them which has expressed in two ways:
1. i have been keeping around people that i am not really into so much just for ego feed which has been a bit pathetic and sort of cruel. cutting those ties right now.
2. i have been desperate to have a relationship with people that aren't that into me - like my step mother and step sister. the necessity to belong to a family has been so strong that i have accidentally ignored the people that have actually made me feel like a family without the formal title. i have ignored the ones that have been there for me in time of need (and let's be honest, i can be very needy).

second off - getting myself into difficult situations, thus becoming a victim that needs...

Skrivet av arlona, 2014-09-12

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love it.

Skrivet av arlona, 2014-09-05

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my home is mine now.
it will close a whole massive chapter of my life.

and open a completely new one.

a new beginning. something i had been really looking forward to.

Skrivet av arlona, 2014-09-01

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once again, thanks to all of my friends who have been by my side.

i love my life, despite the fact that i mostly write blog entries when life seems a bit dark.

i just love my life.

Skrivet av arlona, 2014-08-26

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there is a limit to everything.

my mind might be corrupt at times, but my heart has stayed childish and pure.
surprisingly it has taken so many shots and blows and managed to stay just as naive and full of life/hope/faith as always.
but there comes a time when the blows outweigh the happiness that an open heart brings to anyone. there is a time when you start questioning if it is worth being an open and sincere person, is it worth living with your heart and not your mind? cuz looking from aside, slowly it starts to seem that it pays off to be an asshole, to distance yourself from the true self and just put on a fake mask.

can i ever be that person?

i'm too tired of people. too tired of the blows they give to that honest and loving side of me. too tired of being a pawn in someone else's chess game.

done for now.

Skrivet av arlona, 2014-08-03

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