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Senaste inläggen som handlar om lesson

2017-04-02 00:11 - arlona
lesson of life #39

how can you love someone else, when you have hated yourself for so long?

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2017-03-22 22:46 - arlona
lesson of life #38

i'm too old to be irresponsible.

with words. with actions. with anything.

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2016-02-02 19:10 - arlona
whispers in the wind

a newly made friend suggested to write down the cognition and verities obtained throughout the trip.

probably i should have devoted some of the precious travelling time noting some memories and feelings before they dwindle into oblivion, but as the old saying goes: time you enjoy wasting is not wasted.

without any particular order, i'll start with

maturity
suddenly i was the adult who did the dishes, not the teenager who puts them in the sink trying to sneak out of it, telling the conscience "it's not my problem". i was the cool kid who paid her round of drinks and her part of the trip, not the pretty girl accepting the "naw, you don't have to" because it's cheaper that way.

saying "no"
my self confidence used to be pathetically low, and sometimes i've done ridiculous shit to boost my ego and because i'm too weak to say no. instead, flirting was perceived as a compliment without reacting on it - extremes, such as sleeping with someone or vice versa "what an asshole trying to get in my pants", i chose the middle road, and it happened so naturally without having to think about it. expressions, gestures, hurt egos (of course there were some after i said no :D ) - none of that hurt or offend me. it was more curious and interesting to observe.

pushing what i want - when it's relevant - and keeping my mouth shut - when it's not
asking to go in front of the line when i'm about to miss my bus, being honest about dislikes with neutrality, as well as listening more than speaking, finally putting other needs first or at least respecting them when i chose to be around people, and enjoying fulfillment of my egoistic wishes - when i was on my own.

private space
the best people are not the ones who show the most interest in you. the best were the ones who were minding their own fucking business. unfortunately, i also realized that i have often been the extremes of the previously mentioned one - suffocating with attention when interested, not giving a shit - when not. so a few steps back, a deep breath, listening to other people as well as finding my own space.

childish joy
got it back. that's no news. but that's just a happy happy fact. i was happy not having any worries in almost 2 months. and the truth is, for me - the heartache is the only true problem. everything else is just a meaningless obstacle to overcome. where as heartache can paralyze, suffocate, kill, take over one's heart, mind, soul, reality and life. heartache is the one thing i haven't felt in a while and hope to avoid it in the future, at least for a while.

life. still drunk of life. just a little sleepy.

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2015-12-07 03:38 - arlona
lesson of life #36

and sometimes... you never look at the people the same way again.

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2015-12-05 16:44 - arlona
lesson of life #35

"you can cut the flower, but you can't cut the roots"

che

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2015-11-19 23:52 - arlona
lesson of life #34

there is some pain we deal best with on our own.

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2015-09-19 20:32 - arlona
lesson of life #33

i don't think i have ever been as honest towards myself as i am now.

myself and others.

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2015-09-13 20:42 - arlona
lesson of life #32

the best way to fill that void inside you is giving selflessly. not taking selfishly.

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2015-05-19 14:07 - arlona
lesson of life #31

some painful memories are useful to ponder about.

they remind you of who you are and who you want to be.

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2014-12-18 10:29 - arlona
lesson of life #30

lose the expectations and illusions.

just let it go.

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2014-11-26 17:26 - arlona
lesson of life #29

i suck at giving second chances.
my heart says yes, but my chromosomes yell obscene things in my direction.

someone could cut the correct wire.

(2 kommentarer, senast 2014-11-27 07:21)

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2014-10-28 08:45 - arlona
lesson of life #28

i thought i was looking for a good guy.

i was wrong.
i was looking for a good man.

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2014-10-02 09:01 - arlona
lesson of life #27

wanting something doesn't give you the right to have it.
/ezio auditore, assassin's creed II

(2 kommentarer, senast 2014-10-03 13:41)

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2014-09-24 22:04 - arlona
new girl s04e02

watch it again

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2014-07-21 17:06 - arlona
Lesson of life #26

a peasant with money is still just a peasant.

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2014-07-07 07:21 - arlona
lesson of life #25

1. the world doesn't turn around me.
2. letting go of control is freeing.
3. "thanks" and "sorry" can be expressed in more than one way.

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2013-11-29 06:58 - arlona
the dutchess

nobody is going to rain on my parade.

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2013-11-18 22:49 - arlona
18th november

3 strikes and a good advice.

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2013-11-07 22:39 - arlona
bermuda

experience shows, that a triangle can solve itself without harming any of the three sides involved.

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2013-10-05 11:43 - arlona
sherlock

"i'vecome to found that there is absolutely nothing as toxic on this planet as guilt."

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2013-07-20 21:40 - arlona
lesson of life #24

it's not the thought that counts.

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2013-06-12 18:34 - arlona
lesson of life #23

the hunt is better than the kill.

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2013-05-29 09:40 - arlona
lesson of life #22

you work for your name until 30.
your name works for you after that.

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2013-04-04 22:42 - arlona
lesson of life #21

NEVER let your kids see you drunk

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2013-03-19 11:31 - arlona
lesson of life #20

i'm not as evil as i thought

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i have always been aware of the urge to stay in control. of everything. mainly it is because i had to take care of myself quite early in life, plus the aspect that no one will ever fight for your well being (though, the love from my friends has proven to be immense).

it turns out, not only need i stay in control, i'm a control freak! i have a feeling that as soon as i will let go of the control, i will lose everything. i will lose my job, if i actually listen to doctors and take of 3 (!!!) months of work because of a half paralyzed face. could use this time to write my thesis, take care of my body (no gym, ofc), and cook for my bf. but no, for some reason i'm having a panic attack because i can't do accounting!

i have a feeling my boss will see me as replaceable and.. well.. fire me.
i have a feeling my boyfriend might see me as replaceable and well.. replace me.

everyone can be replaced, can't they?

i wish i could just let go of the control. cuz whether you get replaced or not, being in control doesn't change it. at least, for me, it gives some sort of a handicap to prepare myself for the worse. always have a plan B. in case i do get replaced.

though the fear of the replacement might be a lot worse than the replacement itself. everything does happen for a reason, right?

(2 kommentarer, senast 2013-01-14 21:39)

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2013-01-09 15:31 - arlona
lesson of life #19

any woman who chooses disfigurement, chooses to be a victim.

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2012-11-26 12:31 - arlona
wonders happening

she generally gave herself good advice (though she very seldom followed it).

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2012-09-28 22:23 - arlona
stockholm. day 40. wrap up.

so folks. i thought this was the last day for me in the business trip (40 days? man, that sounds like an easter lent!) but turns out we are stuck in this place for two more weeks.

anyhow.
the time here was perfect. it was exactly what i was expecting. and add a few things i did not expect.

officially, i will tag this as one of the lessons of life, because the future me must know the following: you fixed it! for the first time i fixed the problem. the outburst i had - yes i had it. i was scarred as a wild animal. i was aggressive in order to protect myself. but i took a step back (a very very difficult step which felt like literally weeding someone from your heart), pointed out the good things, focused on my own dreams, lived for myself (and here i must point out to myself to one of the most important conversations of my life, where the lesson was: don't do anything for me, live for your own sake), and lived it. and it turned out awesome.

he didn't turn away from me. i liked myself more with every day. it was a win win win.

it is scary to take the first step.

but it is so rewarding.
like a lottery.

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2012-07-17 15:57 - arlona
surprise

this is the life of my dreams

(2 kommentarer, senast 2012-07-31 17:32)

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